A survival guide for emotionally unstable resin hoarders.

Step 1: Don’t say “relic.”

You may feel like the pens chose you.
You may know they’re tied to ancient pigment rituals.
But TSA doesn’t care.

Say “handmade fountain pens.”
Not “artifacts forged in mythic resin.”
Trust me.

Step 2: Prepare for the vial interrogation.

Yes, you packed pigment samples.
No, they’re not blood.
Yes, they shimmer.
No, you can’t explain “Ashwake” without sounding like a warlock.

Just say “ink.”
Smile.
Pray.

Step 3: The Lore Scroll Dilemma

You brought a wax-sealed lore card.
It’s tied with twine.
It looks like a curse.

TSA asks, “What’s this?”
You say, “A collector’s certificate.”
You do not say, “The prophecy.”

Step 4: Don’t unpack the pour sequence diagram.

You printed it for reference.
It’s color-coded.
It includes terms like “emotional gradient” and “fogroot layering.”

TSA will think it’s a summoning chart.
Leave it in your checked bag.
Or burn it. Safely.

Step 5: Accept your fate.

You will be pulled aside.
You will be asked why you have 14 pens, 3 pigment vials, and a scroll.
You will say, “I’m a collector.”
They will say, “Of what?”
You will whisper, “Meaning.”

Conclusion

You’ll make it through.
Your pens will survive.
And somewhere in the terminal, a TSA agent will be Googling “Frost Pen Co.”

You’ve done your part.